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Real dad's diary

New to this parenting lark? You’re not alone. Follow our dad to be as he inches ever closer to fatherhood, from the initial shock news (yes that has been weed on) to going public, and the wonder of the 12 and 20 week scans. And watch and learn as he demonstrates exactly how not to hold a baby...

»Finding out

The realisation arrives: this is no pen I hold in my hand. 'Dear God,' I think, 'this is a baby.' And then 'Dear God – this has been weed on.'

»Going public

Despite the protocol, my wife and I are rubbish at keeping secrets. We spill the beans to her parents over dinner.

»12 week scan

Until today our pregnancy hasn't felt real. But seeing it on camera, it now feels even less real. A creature which isn't quite recognisable as human is waving at us - actually waving - and I am stunned.

»Sex discovering

As our 21-week scan looms, my wife and I find ourselves locked in an unexpected stand-off.

»21 week scan

The sonographer tells my wife she has 'a very ultrasound-friendly uterus', and this makes me enormously proud, for some reason. From now on, I will always think of my wife in this way.

»Dummy run

I've conquered my fear of holding babies. Though it's now been replaced by another one: putting the little terrors down.

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So he thinks pregnancy’s just for girls? Here’s something to help put him straight.

So he thinks he can relax while she does all the hard work? Help put him straight with some labour do’s and don’ts.

Know someone who’s just crying out for some shut eye? Here’s something to help see him through.